Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The Last Goodbye

So finally he called me last night. I almost thought I'Il never hear from him again. I didn't know how I felt. I still don't but I know my heart is aching. This is not sadness that I am feeling. It's heartache. When your heart aches, you can't cry because the heart isn't sad; it hurts instead.
...

What could possibly go through a girl's mind when the guy who used to be in constant communication with her suddenly dissappears? No video call, no text, no voice notes, no nothing? What the heck is going on? You've lost interest in me? I'm too clingy? You found someone new you like more? You're flirting with another girl? You got headache like the other day? Oh poor baby, let me comfort you. :( Or maybe you are too busy, let me just text you.

"Hey there, how is the sweet beard man doing? :D"
"Hey cutey, workaholic haha. Just back."

Ahhh there you are, Mr Workaholic. :) Trust you've been busy but I can sense that there's something else. Something just doesn't feel right, especially so when the next day you chose not to get back to me when I reached out to you.

Turns out your mum is setting you up with a Pakistani girl because it's her wish that you marry a Pakistani? Why didn't you just tell me this early on Shabir? Didn't we talk about our past and why things didn't work out with our exes? We didn't delve deep of course but I took your word literally when you said you want someone more understanding of your career when above all, the underlying reason was because your mum wants you to marry a Pakistani? Why must you keep this harsh reality from me till I've come to like you a lot.

It's kinda cruel, you see. You can't be contacting a girl everyday, showing genuine interest in her, sharing bits and pieces of your life story with her, telling her you like her, really like her, she's different, you are comfortable with her and you love her company when all you can say in the end is it's all your fault and you can't give her hopes.

It's just so cruel to be doing that to her, Shabir. What you did to me was indeed cruel.

Such a brief encounter that leaves me with a whirlwind of emotions. I was happy, I was excited, I was cheeky, I was naughty, I was optimistic, I was looking forward, I was then sad, confused, worried and now I am devastated and frustrated.

What happened to you'll fold my clothes and rub my back because you like me, to you'll teach me how to swim, you'll spank me when I am lazy, you'll hug me to sleep, you'll spoon me, you'll carry me to the bathroom like it's a wedding night, you'll cook for me while I teman you in my undies because I am your inspiration, you'll buy me lingerie, you'll hear me talk while falling asleep, you'll seduce me instead if I am at your office, you'll give me vanilla scent softener your brother brought from the US and a lot of other you-wills.

Obviously, words are cheap. You haven't even met me in person and that says a lot about it all. I'm just stupid. You've now become my number one reason not to trust guys in romantic sense at all.

But deep down I know you are that sweet, loving and nice guy that I am fond of. I just don't know why you did what you did. I guess I'll never figure it out.

Monday, November 10, 2014

And when you miss your Lord

...and your soul is yearning to speak to Him, to connect with Him, through solah...

Monday, October 13, 2014

Hello World!

Does anyone blog (as often) anymore?

As far as I'm concerned, those days are now gone. The trend has changed and people are more interested in uploading just snapshots of their foodie moment/travelogue or anything as picturesque as a selfie (hehe) than to properly sit down and blog about stuff. Partly because we don't have the luxury of time we once had. Well, pictures tell more than a thousand words, anyway.

So while most people have already moved on to the new popular culture, here I am writing my first blog post after signing up to be part of the world's leading blog advertising community (as they claim it to be), NuffNang! Haha no thanks to my resistance to jump on the bandwagon, I am 7 years behind pioneer celebrity bloggers! But it's better late than never, isn't it? Who knows I might be the next top blogger in Malaysia. ;)

Okay now that I've created a brand new blog, let's see whether an ordinary blogger with no Hanis Zalikha's pretty face (Keknis, I'm a fan! *wink) or influential online presence like me can complete the social media experience NuffNang lines up and actually win cool prizes and earn some money.

Rest assured, I'll do myself a favour by not posting about my everyday stuff or ranting about things I'm not happy about. Time to lead a more interesting life, Trini! Scratch your head and come up with some useful contents, will ya?

Say yes, say yes!

So come traffic, come and hop on the bus!


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